lol
cupcake, evil
justj0sh1ng

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC.
 
Stranger: .................................................. ..........................._,-~"¯¯"~-,
.................................................. ................__„-~"¯¯:::,-~~-,_::::"-
.................................................. ..........„~"¯::::::::::::::"::::::::::::::::::\
.................................................. .__„„„-"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,
..........................................__-~"::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::~-,
..........................._______~"___-~":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::"-,
......................,~"::::::::::::::¯¯:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,: |
....................:/:::::::::::::::::__-~":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~":'\'-,:\:|:\|::\|\::\:|
...................,'::::::::,-~~"~"_::',::|::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~ ':\'-,::',"-\::'':"::::::::\|:|/
..............._,-'"~----":::/,~"¯"-:|::|::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~"::\'-,:\;;'-';;;;;;;;;;;,-'::\::|/
............,-'::::::::::::::::'-\~"O¯_/::,'::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-',::\'-,:|::";;;;;;;;;;;;,-':\:'-,::\
............|:::::::::::::::::-,_'~'::::,-'::,':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-':\'-,:\'-,';;';;;;;;;;;;;;;,-':\:::'\-,|''
............|::,-~"::::::::::::::"~~":::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~':\'-,|:"'";;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'¯::'-,:',\|
.........../::/::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_,„-~"¯\:\'-,|;''-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'--,::\-:\:\|
........./::::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-';;'-';;;;',/;\/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-,|:::\-,:|\|..\|
......./:::::::\:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-~'''("-,\:::|\:|::''
......,':::::::,'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :,-'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,--'::::::/"~'
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:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::|::\: : : : : : |: : \::::::::/:/-------------------------I LOVE YOU!
:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::"-':::\: : : : : : |: : :\::::::|::|\
:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::::",::::::::::::::::::\: : : : : : \: : : |:::::|::|;;\
::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::::/|\ ,: : : : : : : |::::,'/|::::|
:::::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::"-,_::::::::::\|:/|,: : : : : : : |::: |'-,/|:::|
::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::::::::::::::"~-,_:::"-,/|/\::::::::::: \::: \"-/|::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,__:::::::::::',"-,:::"_|/\:|\: : : : \::\":/|\|
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_:::::\:::\:::"~/_:|:|\: : : '-,\::"::,'\
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"-,_:'-,::\:::::::"-,|:||\,-, : '-,\:::|-'-„
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::,-,'"-:"~,:::::"/_/::|-/\--';;\:::/: ||\-,
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :/...'-,::::::"~„::::"-,/_:|:/\:/|/|/|_/:|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |......"-,::::::::"~-:::::""~~~"¯:::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |........."-,_:::::::::::::::::::::::::/
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\ .............."~--„_____„„-~~"
You: So how long have you suffered from these deformaties?
Stranger: for as long as you've talked to me!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

rice cooker.
maliciagorete
Stranger: hi
You: my name is shiroshomi whats yours
Stranger: my name is liangzhaobin
Stranger: I from asia~
Stranger: u?
You: DAMN, you stole my middle name! i'm from japan. NIHAO
Stranger: oh!!!!~
Stranger: I like japan~!!!
You: japan likes you too!
Stranger: hahahaa~
Stranger: boy or girl?
You: im a little bit of both
Stranger: ???
Stranger: not boy?
You: im a girl, but i have a beard and some chest hairs
Stranger: oh~
Stranger: japan girl so cute~~^^
Stranger: do you have MSN?
You: thank you, my beard is pretty soft if you ask me, and you can lie your head on my soft cushion
You: i do not have a MINGLING SINGLE NUDE chat
Stranger: oh~
Stranger: how old are you?
You: im nineteen
Stranger: oh~
Stranger: I 18.
You: thats amazing.
Stranger: your engilsh so good.
You: really?
Stranger: yes.
You: ive been accepted to many colleges to speak for them
Stranger: oh~
You: i was also starred in the move The Grudge
You: and One Missed Call
Stranger: japan not use MSN?
You: no, we dont
You: we have cell phone
You: gift from buddga
Stranger: oh~
You: buddha
You: we use cell phone and rice cooker
Stranger: buddha....
You: yeah
You: rub tummy for good luck
Stranger: I Believe~
You: me too no worry honey i do yo nail for five yen
Stranger: you Believe?
You: i do believe
Stranger: you not boyfriend?
You: me no boyfriend
Stranger: oh~
Stranger: me too
Stranger: I not have girlfriend.
You: no no
Stranger: you live tokyo?
You: yes i do
Stranger: oh~
You: i dress ver nas
Stranger: Beautiful
You: dank yew
Stranger: ^^
Stranger: what do you doing?
You: i listen to rap
Stranger: oh~
You: and facebook
Stranger: rap...you like?
You: yes i love
Stranger: oh~~``me too
You: yay
Stranger: do you know MC jin?
Stranger: china...
You: YOU AN ASIAN GOOK YOU ARE FLY I AM FLY, I LOVE DIS.
You: i do not know
You: you know DJ sammy?
Stranger: NO~ DJ tommy I know.
Stranger: In HongKong~
You: DJ tommy knows you too
You: he talks about you all the time
Stranger: remix.~
You: i have to go
Stranger: ~~
Stranger: ^^
You: 018-443-112
You: call me
Stranger: edison~you Know?
You: thomas. yes
Stranger: this is you ....?
Stranger: 018-443-112
You: he sat next to me in calculus.
You: yes tis is me
Stranger: Phone
You: yes
Stranger: oh~
You: call me
Stranger: but...i live china.>_<
You: is free
You: china have sweatshop?
Stranger: you not have Communication tools?
You: no. i have rice cooker
Stranger: ICQ?
Stranger: rice cooker
what?
You: no RICE COOKER
You: communication
You: communication = rice.cooker
Stranger: oh~'
You: throw rice in pan
Stranger: you have e-mail?
You: reply = add water
Stranger: OK~
You: NO E-MAIL! JUST RICE COOKER AND SUSHI
Stranger: oh~~`in japan rice.cooker?
You: YES
Stranger: I can use?
You: YES, add two cup rice, 1 cup water. press cook
You: then send to me
You: i throw at you
Stranger: OK~
Stranger: you have photos..?
You: yes
Stranger: oh~
Stranger: I want see.
You: you want sees candies? go to the store. milk chocolate
Stranger: i want see you~
You: yu is chinese name
Stranger: 桃井はるこ-Let me Love you.mp3
Stranger: liangzhaobin
You: ...i have husband
You: and girlfriend
You: we share hosue
Stranger: you have husband and girlfriend??
You: yes
You: we live together
You: you want share?
Stranger: yes.
You have disconnected.

[credit to ashrp.]

I Thought It Was Funny
cupcake, evil
justj0sh1ng
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Quick! Say something funny so i can post it onto websites for e-fame!
Stranger: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

(no subject)
demi/black&amp;white
escaped_fate
Stranger: Hey
You: 'lo. :]
Stranger: M or f
You: f.
Stranger: M. Were from
You: hogwarts.
You: you?
You: :)
Stranger: USA
You: oh, i would have thought you'd be from durmstrang.
You: :sighs:
Stranger: Oo
You: :)

You: hmm, i think i'd rather get back to my usual whereabouts on livejournal. g'night.
You have disconnected.

Why'd she disconnect? :thinks hard:
demi/black&amp;white
escaped_fate
Stranger: hi
You: katie?
Stranger: yes
You: cool. did mayday parade write miserable at best after you? :excited:
Stranger: hello:)
You: 'Lo. :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

boring omegle chat.
demi/black&amp;white
escaped_fate
Stranger: hey
You: did you know that i will be posting this chat to LJ? :smiles:
Stranger: i dont even know whats LJ so whatever.. dont care :)
You: livejournal. :]
Stranger: yay..
Stranger: i know that but dont think i like it so.. enjoy posting this chat to livejournal
You: thanks. :nods:
You: do you like harry potter? :wonders:
Stranger: eeh a little i saw the movie last wednesday, u?
You: i love it. :3
Stranger: lol
Stranger: where u live...
You: hmm...
Stranger: yea?
You: i live in the drawer inside the room inside the building inside london. you/
You: *?

Stranger: lol
Stranger: amsterdam
You: got to go.
You: :]
You have disconnected.

Intuitive, Psychic and Clairvoyant
bwthumb
varookamcsalt
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: I am Intuitive, Psychic and Clairvoyant how can I help you?
Stranger: tell me when I will meet my next true love
You: in the next six weeks
You: you will be away from home
Stranger: that's a bit vague
You: not a vacation
You: He'll be behind a desk
Stranger: I'm a guy
You: so?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

oh.
celloinherass
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HI
Stranger: "Hello you are chatting with the martin twins omegle and the martin twins are in a contract we have 6 people for you to talk too 3 girls and 3 boys NOW ENJOY!" Press 1 to talk to a martin twin. Press 2 to contact our operation center or Press disconnect to leave.
You: 2
Stranger: press 1 for houston press 2 for san diego
You: 1
Stranger: please hold
Stranger: HELLO?
You: hi
You: you are a dipshit
You: bye
You have disconnected.

HIT ME!
hipster belle
i_said_boourns
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: HELLO BEAUTIFULL!! WHY SO SERIOUS??
You: LOL
You: HELLO JOKER
You: OR ARE YOU HEATHUS?
Stranger: DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THIS SCARS ?
You: NO NOT REALLY
You: YOU ARE A LIAR
Stranger: I'M NOT
You: OKAY THEN TELL ME, WHY NOT
You: I MEAN, TELL ME HOW YOU GOT THE SCARS
Stranger: MY FATHER PUT I KNIFE IN MY MOUNTH AND CUT IT
You: DAMN THAT IS COLD
Stranger: NOW I'M AWAYS SMILLE
You: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MAKE HIM THAT MAD?
Stranger: I CUT HIS BALLS

Continue reading this conversation, in which I make the Joker doubt his ~plan~Collapse )

soap opera omegle
sillycucumber
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: remember me?
You: i think so. but just so you know, i used protection!
Stranger: good cause i have some other bad news
You: oh noes
Stranger: i'm in love with your father
You: but my father's been dead for 25 years!
Stranger: i know
Stranger: thats why it was so hard to come out
You: i will always accept you.
Stranger: thank you
Stranger: can be still be friends
You: well... i have a confession
Stranger: whats that?
You: i knew about you and my father... and i pleasured myself to the thought. i'm sorry.
Stranger: thats ok
Stranger: i know about you and the dog
You: well, that wasn't really a secret. ;)
Stranger: but the adoption was ....wasn't it
You: YOU KNEW???!!!
Stranger: well those pups had your eyes ...and the one that sarah took had your nose too
Stranger: i can't believe no one else knew
Stranger: but i'll keep your secret
You: david knew. that's why i killed him.
You: thank you
Stranger: that was you? damn i thought i'd done it ...that night is such a blur
You: well, he was still walking around after i hit him in the head with the hatchet. maybe you had a go.
Stranger: maybe ...i do like them better like that...............
You: what r u doing rigt nao?
Stranger: i'm with your dad but he can't talk right now lol
Stranger: it's our anniversaire next thursday you know?
You: omg, i should get you guise an ice cream cake!!!
Stranger: that would be awesome. i was gonna ask if you wanted to come to dinner with us to celebrate...?
You: we should go the olive garden
Stranger: omg for sure. i just don't know what to wear... i really want it to be special
You: you should wear that red little teddy that you keep in the back of your sock drawer
Stranger: with the devil horns and tail. oh that will be perfect. it's a shame we aren't each others type you know
You: ~maybe in another life...
Stranger: ...you KNOW i'm waiting for you
You: and you know that i'm not going to get tangled up with you until the sex change operation's done.
Stranger: is that all you are worried about?
You: can you imagine if it came off inside of you???
Stranger: oh don't tease!
Stranger: you know i would love that to happen
You: ugh. why must you make everything so complicated? i don't want this to get messy, but slap my ass and call me zoolander, you're just gonna keep going 'til it does.
Stranger: what can i say. it's how i like it .what can i do for you to make you want me back? i know it was just a fling and so much is wrong ...but so much is right too. don't you see know one else understands...
You: ...it's okay. i like black people.
Stranger: well thats why i did it! for you!
You: you've a heart of gold and a ballsac made of satin
Stranger: and you're the only thing thats keeping me from marrying your father. you know he asked me...back before he died ...but i didn't think much of him then... well i was only 3 i guess ..i didn't know what i wanted
You: you've got my blessing. all i want is for you to be happy. and i can't give you what you want - my decaying father can.
Stranger: speaking of which i have to go tend to him ...his arm just fell off
Stranger: thank you
Stranger: and take care
You: u too.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

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